


all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet)

by WishingTree



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen, i need my children to be friends, mentions of the others - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-04 18:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13371027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingTree/pseuds/WishingTree
Summary: Gert knows that Karolina isn't the most popular girl in school, but she's never realized exactly how lonely she is. The more she thinks about it, the more she notices that Karolina, for all her beauty and intelligence and kindness, is just as much of an outcast here as Gert herself is, maybe even more, and it shocks her into realizing that maybe they aren't so different after all.





	all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet)

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know nearly as many big words as Gert does, so I worry this may not be as spot on for her character as I would have liked it to be. 
> 
> Warning for implied rape mention and anxiety, though nothing major 
> 
> Title from 'All My Heroes' by Bleachers;

Standing in the school’s courtyard, Gert sees Eiffel confront Karolina about what apparently happened at a party, hears every cutting word she throws at her. Karolina’s shoulders curl inwards defensively, but other than that she gives no sign of discomfort until Eiffel flounces away. Gert steps forward hesitantly, tilting her head a little to the side to see Karolina’s face when the girl turns toward her, and she doesn’t know what to say. 

Karolina’s fear is evident, shining clearly in her eyes, and Gert swallows anxiously as she tells her what happened.

“Karolina,” she starts slowly, “It sounds like maybe those guys were – ”

“No! No, she’s lying, I would know!” Karolina has a note of panic in her voice, and her eyes are searching Gert’s with more desperation than Gert can ever remember seeing from her. “I – I mean, I would know, right?”

“…Yeah,” Gert tells her the only thing she can, wanting so badly for it to be true. It has to be true. The mention of Chase automatically makes a pit of jealousy twist up inside of her, something she is completely aware is irrational and unwarranted, but for the first time, in the face of the potential horrors that could have happened, it’s easy to brush aside.

Karolina stares at her for a long moment, and then she wipes hastily at her eyes, clearing away the tears before they fall. Gert watches as her mask falls back over her face, the one that Gert is only now recognizing as the one she wears every day. It’s bright and cheerful and _fake_ , and Gert wonders how it ever fooled her, wonders why she’s only seeing through it now.

“Thanks, Gert,” Karolina says, forcing a smile, “I’ll… see you later.” 

She hikes her bag up on her shoulder and turns away, and Gert lets her go. Her steps are slow, and Gert wonders where she’s going, if she has anyone to go to.

The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that Karolina, for all her beauty and intelligence and kindness, is just as much of an outcast here at school as Gert herself is, maybe even more. Gert can’t think of a single time she’s seen Karolina hanging out with other people, friends or otherwise. Nobody talks to her, and Gert’s eyes widen marginally at the stunning realization.

Karolina always walks around with a smile on her face, and Gert’s heard the nasty things people say about her, but for some reason she had never noticed the loneliness radiating off of her, not this girl who had all the makings of being the most popular person in school. She’s aware of how shallow that makes her, falling in with the same mindset as the rest of the students, but it had honestly never occurred to her.

Karolina’s blonde hair disappears into the crowd, and Gert shifts on her feet, unsure of what to do with this new revelation. Her and Karolina had been friends, once upon a time, and though they hadn’t been as close as Nico and Karolina had been, Gert can’t ignore this and leave her alone.

Gert adjusts her glasses and makes her decision.

Not anymore.

 

 

 

“Hey Gert, can I talk to you for a second?”

Karolina’s voice catches Gert unawares, as does the touch to her shoulder, and she turns around in surprise. Her first instinct is to brush her off, but then she remembers what happened earlier. The shadow of fear is still in Karolina’s eyes, and Gert hesitates as she hears her potential club members cut her off. 

Karolina just accepts it and walks away with a little wave, and Gert hastily apologizes before rushing after her. “Hey Karolina, wait up!”

She slows her steps accordingly and brightens when she sees her.

“Hey,” Gert says somewhat breathlessly, “What’s up?”

Karolina explains her idea about searching her mother’s things for information about a Gibborim ceremony as they saunter through the parking lot, and Gert latches on to the hope it provides.

“I’m just surprised you wanted me to help,” she tells her after agreeing, a little self conscious about her involvement.

“With everything that’s going on right now, proving that our parents are innocent is like the one thing that would make me feel better, and you’re the only other person who thinks they might be.”

Gert watches her out of the corner of her eye, wondering if she just means their potentially psychotic murderous parents or if there’s something more.

“Not that I’m incapable of doing it on my own, I do most things on my own.” Karolina shrugs as she walks, keeping her hands tucked in her pockets, and Gert is taken aback at the words, quickly moving to reassure her.

“No, this is better though,” Gert nudges her in the arm, “Sisterhood is powerful, right?”

Karolina gives her a smile at that, looking up from her shoes, and Gert smiles back.

She tells Alex they’re bonding, and she surprises herself when she realizes that she’s only saying it partly sardonically. They _are_ bonding, falling back into something that more resembles the friendship they used to have, before they’d all changed. It’s… nice.

They spend a pleasantly comfortable couple of hours together, digging through Karolina’s house, and then it’s abruptly brought to an end by Chase’s arrival.

Karolina’s parting words are sincere, but Gert’s smile is tight when she responds, eyes flitting over Chase standing next to her. She holds no illusions about this situation; she knows Karolina is gorgeous, and sweet, and literally everything a guy like Chase could want, and Gert is just Gert. It makes the insecure part of her twist up protectively, makes her want to lash out in a way she _knows_  is immature, but she pushes it down, trying to hold on to the feeling of camaraderie from before. She’s seen this movie, and she doesn’t want to fulfill the role of catty jealous girl.

Chase slams the door in her face, and she sighs to herself, looking around as if to find some support from the Dean’s deserted front entrance. “I’ll wait for my Lyft out here, thank you,” she drawls sarcastically, instinctively pulling out her phone to occupy herself and then sighing again.

 

 

 

That night they rescue Alex and all go their separate ways, and Karolina surprises Gert once again.

Gert is asleep in Old Lace’s sanctuary with Molly when she gets the call. Squinting at her vibrating cellphone, she sees that it’s Karolina’s name on the too-bright screen and blinks uncomprehendingly before swiping to answer the call.

“Hello?” she says sleepily, rubbing her cheek and then patting the top of Old Lace’s head when she shifts. “Karolina? Is everything okay?”

There’s silence for a long moment before she hears Karolina clear her throat. “No – I mean yes, but – yeah, I was just wondering if maybe you could come over? I’m home, and – and so are my parents – ” Her voice breaks on the last word and she pauses, blowing out a breath, and Gert sits up when she realizes she’s been crying.

“Hey, Karolina, it’s okay. I’ll be right over,” she says softly, sticking her phone between her shoulder and her ear so she can maneuver herself out from under Molly. It isn’t too difficult, seeing as her sister is dead asleep, but she handles her gently, letting the blanket fall off her lap to the floor.

“Here girl,” she calls softly, watching Old Lace shuffle over to fill the spot Gert had just vacated. She folds up her blanket and uses it to cushion Molly’s head against the dinosaur’s side, gently laying her back down and tucking the other one around her. “Karolina, are you going to be alright until I get there?” 

Karolina sniffs but stays quiet, and just as Gert opens her mouth again to ask for verbal confirmation she speaks up. “Oh! Yeah, sorry, yeah. I’m… thank you.” 

“I’m leaving right now, okay? I’ll be there soon,” Gert promises.

When Karolina hangs up, Gert taps out a quick text to Molly for her to read when she wakes up, and then she creeps out of the sanctuary, heading straight for the garage.

Since the group had broken up after Amy’s death, when everything had fallen apart, it's been tough. Their worlds had been changed forever, but at the end of the day Gert’s always had Molly with her, always had her on her side when she needed somebody.

Had Karolina had anybody in her corner?

The question worries at Gert until she pulls up in front of Karolina’s house. She parks on the street and texts Karolina to let her know that she’s outside, and then gets out of the car to pick her way past the decorative front gate and go stand by the front door. Darkness is her only companion as she waits, and after a few minutes pass she wonders if she should call Karolina back again. Just as she’s starting to get concerned, she hears the latch clicking and Karolina pulls the door open.

She’s still wearing the same clothes from before, and Gert suddenly feels awkward in her sweatshirt and pyjama pants. But Karolina’s hair is disheveled and her eyes are haggard, and Gert doesn’t know what to say.

“Hey,” Karolina’s voice is subdued when she speaks, giving Gert a tired attempt at a smile. She doesn’t say anything farther, stepping back to let Gert in, and they slowly make their way upstairs.

Karolina’s room is exactly as she remembers it, light and airy and tastefully decorated. It’s still neatly organized, except for the far corner where everything has been thrown off the desk and knocked askew.

“What – what happened?” Gert asks, staring at the destroyed mess lying around, scattered books and shattered picture frames. It looks like somebody had made an attempt to clean it up, but then had abandoned their efforts halfway through.

“I – I was just…” Karolina grips her hair, clenching her fingers against the side of her neck and shaking her head from side to side. She drops down onto her bed, leaning her elbows on her knees and hiding her face in her hands, and Gert cautiously goes to sit at her side. 

The silence hangs between them, and Gert racks her brain for some way to ease it. Nothing comes to mind, and she awkwardly pats Karolina on the back.

“Our parents are murderers,” Karolina says quietly, and a tear drips down her nose. “My mom is a murderer, and – and they’re all _murderers_ , and – ” She heaves a shuddering breath and tries again. “My whole life, I’ve believed in the church, in my _mom_. I thought I knew who I was. And now, everything is a lie. I’m a glowing freak, the church is – is _evil_ , I keep feeling…” Doubt creeps into her voice and she trails off, rubbing her hand over her face. Her eyes start to lose focus, her hands shaking, and Gert sits up warily. “I don’t understand anything, I don’t even understand myself anymore.” Her breath is coming quicker, her chest starting to spasm like she can’t quite get enough air into her lungs, and Gert quickly recognizes the signs of an oncoming panic attack.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she recites, keeping her voice as steady as possible, “Deep breaths, calm down. You’re under control, we have this under control.” She knows it’s not the right thing to say, not really, but her own anxiety mantra is the only thing she can think of.

Either way, it seems to be working, and she feels Karolina slowly settling down, her breath coming easier.

“Thank you,” Karolina says eventually, voice hoarse from crying and thick with exhaustion, “I – I’m sorry, for calling you over so late. And for – for this.”

Gert stays where she is, running her fingers soothingly through her tangled hair. “It’s okay,” she says softly, keeping her voice low. “Honestly, it’d probably be weird if we didn’t have a couple minor breakdowns,” Gert says wryly, “You know, unhealthy coping mechanisms are fairly common with teenagers our age, or so I’ve heard. We could be doing way worse.” 

“We’re supposed to be dealing with homework problems,” Karolina sighs, and Gert is relieved to hear the joking note returning to her voice. “What else do teenagers do? Homework, and parties, and worrying about – the people we like…” she trails off and quickly ducks her head, and Gert eyes her in confusion, wondering what she’s trying to stop herself from saying.

“Yeah, relationship drama can be tough,” she says mildly, waiting for Karolina to steer the conversation in a direction she’s more comfortable with.

Karolina lets out a laugh completely devoid of humor, finally sitting up straighter and rubbing at her eyes, and she looks exhausted. “You know I found Nico and Alex making out?” she tells her, voice wavering, “When I went to get them, they were all over each other.”

Gert doesn’t know how she wants her to respond, so she stays quiet, mind moving too quickly to let her get any words out. Why does Karolina care about that?

“Do you want to stay over?” Karolina asks her uncertainly, her voice small and quiet as she stares at her hands.

“I – sure,” Gert answers just as quietly, “Sure, yeah.”

Karolina gives her a tired smile and slowly pushes herself off the bed, moving to collect some pyjamas from her dresser.

“Do you need anything?” she asks mechanically, eyes still glassy, and Gert shakes her head, telling her she’ll wait here until she gets back. Karolina disappears into the bathroom, and Gert moves up the bed to sit against the headboard, waiting patiently. Karolina takes a while in the bathroom, but Gert doesn’t blame her.

Eventually she comes back, dressed in a tank top and soft sleep shorts, and they both tuck themselves into bed, the same bed they’d had sleepovers in when they were children.

 _We’re bonding_ , Gert hears the echo of the words she had spoken earlier that day, what feels like weeks ago, and she closes her eyes, snuggling into the pillow. Next to her Karolina does the same, and Gert thinks that maybe this friendship could help her as much as Karolina.

 

 

 

Gert smiles as she makes her way towards Karolina’s room with Molly. They’re both holding their gala dresses, ready to prep, and Gert’s glad Nico invited them, glad for the sense of togetherness that’s slowly being rebuilt between their group.

“Hi!” she calls out casually as she swings the door open, and she sees Karolina and Nico jerk their heads around, both of them already in their dresses and staring at her with varying degrees of shock on their faces.

Even though it’s a relatively foreign environment, usually enough to make Gert anxious, she’s become more comfortable in Karolina’s room given recent events. But now she hesitates unsurely, eyeing them critically and wanting to take a step back. It certainly feels like she’s interrupted something.

But Karolina stands and welcomes them inside, brushing off her dress, and when Molly bounds in with no reservations, Gert has no choice but to follow.

Nico has shuffled back over to the vanity with her head down, messing with the pile of cosmetics, and Karolina watches her go, a wistful look in her eyes. Gert continues to observe them discreetly, and then all of a sudden it all makes sense. The little touches and the way Karolina watches Nico while she’s hiding in her headphones, the long looks and soft smiles, they all slot into place, and Gert inhales sharply at the clarity.

It makes perfect sense, and she looks over at where Karolina is standing in front of the mirror. As she watches, Karolina adjusts her necklace and then glances over at Nico, her eyes quickly sliding away before darting back as if she can’t help herself.

Her mind flips through every interaction between them she can remember, cataloguing looks and touches lightning fast. Though she’s almost sure she’s right, she needs to hear Karolina say it, needs to know she isn’t imagining this.

Except she hasn’t considered that maybe Karolina isn't ready yet.

She pulls Karolina aside at the gala the first chance she gets, and it blows up in her face.

 

 

 

Gert isn’t proud of it, but she knows she’s being unnecessarily nasty to Karolina. She uses her crush on Nico against her, spitting out some snide remarks, and altogether they just make each other feel awful until they’re interrupted by more important matters.

Eiffel is manning the ticket booth for the school dance as they pass by, sneering at other students, and Gert forcefully ignores her, making sure the path she takes is as far away from her as possible. Eiffel starts batting her eyes flirtatiously at Chase, and Gert scowls, moving to stand on the steps with Nico and Karolina.

“How about a free ticket?” Eiffel asks Chase, holding the slip of paper out with two fingers enticingly. After shooting them a quick glance, Chase turns her down, an action that makes something smug glow in Gert’s chest, but evidently Eiffel sees his look, because her sights zero in on Karolina.

“You want one?” She waves the ticket through the air, “The water polo team will be there, in case you’re looking to diversify.” 

The remark is obviously aimed directly at Karolina and no one else, and Gert’s mouth falls open. As soon as she registers the insult, Gert expects Karolina to storm up to her, to yell, to at least glare and turn away, but all she does is stand there, taking it silently. She finds it interesting, how Karolina seems to be lacking a fighter’s spirit when it comes to herself, but will defend others ferociously when she has to.

A beat passes, and then Gert huffs a disbelieving laugh and yanks her wallet out of her pocket, stepping forcefully up to the table and throwing some money down.

“We’ll take five tickets, you hateful bitch.” Eiffel’s eyes widen with shock, clearly taken aback, and Gert sneers at her. “We’re all going together.”

She turns back to the others, belatedly worrying about their reactions. She’s amazed at herself for acting so impulsively, but for once isn’t second-guessing anything. She doesn’t think she regrets it.

Nico has a comforting hand on Karolina’s arm, and Gert nods to herself. “If there’s nothing left for us to do, then… let’s dance.” 

Karolina is smiling at her again, small but real, and all Gert feels when she turns back to face Eiffel is satisfaction.

“Thank you,” Karolina says genuinely when she finds her later, just before they all head home to prepare for the dance, “For… doing that.” 

Gert waves her off and rolls her eyes. “Come on, she deserved so much more than that, it’s been a long time coming.”

Karolina shrugs, a smile playing on her lips. “I know I’ve said it before, and I also know that we’ve been kind of… mean, to each other, but I’m really glad we’re friends again.” 

The words are honest, and Gert softens. Karolina is a good friend, definitely a better one than Gert is, and she hasn’t realized how much she’s missed her.

“And, I just want you to know…” Karolina says haltingly, “With Chase, I’m not – I’m mean, you were right, I don’t…” she struggles to get the words out, and Gert puts a reassuring hand on her arm, understanding what she’s trying to say.

“It’s okay,” she says, squeezing lightly, “You don’t have to, I get it.”

Karolina hesitates again before exhaling and briefly closing her eyes, and the she opens them and nods.

“Thank you, Gert.”

“Of course,” Gert pulls back and pushes her glasses up. “We’re sticking together this time.”

“Yeah?”

Gert nods decisively. “Yeah.”

“I’m glad,” Karolina smiles.

“Well, here's looking at you, kid,” Gert grins, inclining her head in a mock bow.

Karolina laughs brightly, brushing her hair away from her face, and she follows Gert when she begins to move towards the parking lot. “I'm older than you,” she tells her in an amused tone of voice, and Gert only hums.

“Are you going to say this looks like the beginning of a horrible friendship next?” Karolina asks playfully, hiking her bag up higher on her shoulder and putting one hand in her pocket.

“Nah,” Gert smiles, tilting her head up to face the afternoon sunlight, “Not horrible.” 

They still have a city to save, a country, the whole goddamn world for all they know, and their parents are evil and murderous, but Gert lets her eyes flutter shut for a moment, feeling Karolina’s steady presence at her side.

Not horrible at all.

 

 

 


End file.
